The Amazing Pan

Koyla and Mama are home with Papa and today our daughter, Yana, will join us after her own weeks vacation in Florida. We will be a family of four on our own turf, for the first time. We are praying the adjustment will go as well as the adoption. Koyla has adjusted well to having a mama and papa, now for the time to adjust to having a older, wiser, sister. Yana on the other hand needs to adjust to sharing what was all hers! Sounds like a real family to me.

I was going through our trip pictures to put a group of pictures together for Koyla's bedroom and came across this picture, which is one of several that I had taken at Grandpa's house. What a great picture to express adoption. Grandpa had a dog that had 2 puppies and a cat that had 2 kittens. The dog wanted no part of mothering her puppies ( in all fairness, the dog was tiny and her puppies are big). The puppies were hungry and they went over to the cat and she very lovingly rolled to her side and fed the puppies her milk. The puppy at one time got a little rough with her and she gave him a good hard bite on the head and the puppy settled down and the feeding continued. This picture captures how God planned for our adoption into the kingdom of heaven. We are not by rights part of His royal family, yet through the sacrifice of Jesus, He took us in as royal blood. If we accept Him, He no longer sees our difference. These little puppies accepted this cat and the cat no longer saw them as different. What a great example to raise our family that has been blended together by God. We are all coming together with differences and uniting to be one family. I pray that the unity that existed at Grandpa's house will exist in this family as well. The base root will be the acceptance. It did go well in Berdyansk, so I think we are on a good path.

We have not yet been home a week and a lot has been accomplished. To bring Koyla in to the house we had to add a bedroom, literally putting up walls. We had hoped to accomplish this before we left, but with a nine day notice for the adoption we didn't get it done. To make the extra bedroom, the whole house has to change. The whole house has been uprooted this week. The first couple of days, mama didn't do to well with the confusion and mess. I have to say that I was overwhelmed by jetlag, messes, new child, and the transition back to America. On top of that I had to start the process of registering Koyla for school immediately so that he could take advantage of summer ESL classes. I wasn't going to put him into summer ESL, but the situation is perfect for him to get introduced to school in a very non-threating situation. Yana will be on the same bus as he will be and there are 6 children in the class total. When I took Koyla to the school on Thursday of last week, he was so sad. Later he communicated that he thought I was leaving him there. When he discovered that I went there to just blah, blah, blah with the people and that he got to go back home, he gave me the biggest hug a mama could get! The routine will be great for Koyla and mama needs some time to get the house in order. Summer school is out at the end of July and I will be more organized by then, I hope.

Everyday has been an incredible adventure for Koyla and for us. Everything is new. Everyday Koyla is getting younger, he has totally shed any toughness that comes from orphanage living. He is experiencing childhood and all the excitement that goes with it. It is so refreshing to see him laugh and have such a carefree spirit about him. He was so serious in Ukraine, forced to grow up beyond his years. He is so free to be Koyla. Koyla is a precious free spirit. He loves the outdoors, especially bicycling. He is experiencing life to the fullest. The plan to have Yana on vacation worked very well. Koyla has attached to mama and papa, giving Yana the freedom to be a sister and not the mother to Koyla. I want Yana to have her time and space also. She is quickly approaching 17 years old, I don't want to cut her teen years short, she has thrived since she has been here.

At the end of every blog writing, I have to sit back and praise God for the work He has done in me. The first adoption was hard and brought me closer to Him, right where I should have been in the first place. It taught me lessons in obedience inspite of circumstances. It demonstrated that He is God, not my servant that answers my plan, but I am to follow His plan, for it is the best plan. My second adoption strengthened my faith. This will be a pivital point in my faith walk. He did have a better plan, one that brought together a brother and sister. He knew what was good for us and was watching out for us through the journey. I thank you God for forcing your hand when I was trying to push yours. It reminds me of Koyla, when he thinks he knows what is the right thing to do, but I have the advantage of reading English and know the right thing to do. He tries to force me in his direction and I have to force him in my direction. I often get a sad looking face as I am forcing him my way, but when he sees the end is the right way he gets so excited, he says "tank goo" in his sweet broken English. The more often this happens the less he is resisting me because he is trusting me more and more. The lessons of faith taught by an innocent child.

Amazing grace how sweet God is to put me on this journey. Is it over????? Who knows, when I am in the mist of the adoptions, I think this body is getting old, when things settle down, it feels good to be young. God has a plan and I am on a ride. I trust the journey more then I ever have. Where He takes me (us) from here I do not know, but look forward to the following chapters as they unfold.

Fran

I Am Coming Home

Friday morning, we take a walk to the market to have Koyla's new jeans shortened (good deal, $2.50 to shorten jeans). I knew this boy needed a boy adventure, so we took a short cut home. This was what I would call a Rahn short cut, not my type of short cut, I am too caution for this type of short cut. I knew that I had to do a "Rahn" short cut to keep Koyla from bordem. We walk up this old set of stars, until there are no stairs and then we climb to the top of a hill on rock/dirt then climb over a wall to make it to a normal sidewalk. Koyla loved it. I really made points on that one!

We get to our apartment and I start cleaning and slowly packing, sorting what I will take and what to leave for the apartment, when the call comes in, be ready in 20 minutes we got the passport and we have to be at the passport office before they close at 5:00. Koyla and I start throwing things into bags including a powdered cremer container whose lid was not on right. The powder came pouring out into my suitcase and on to the floor. We quickly get the vacuum cleaner to clean our mess when our friend Don comes to say good bye and Betsy and Jim to get the key and Victor. Koyla thought this excitement was great. He was ready to move on. We got into the car and I discover that I don't have the phone. Victor calls my number and we discover the phone is in the trunk. That is what happens when all of the sudden you have to throw things into your bags, they make it into the wrong bag. We grab the phone and off we go to Tokmak to say our final good bye.

Grandpa and Koyla both did really well. Grandpa asked if he could be alone with Koyla in the house for 5 minutes. He must of given Koyla some encouragement because he came out pretty happy. I had Koyla run around the house taking pictures and I used the time to talk with Grandpa. He did express that he was happy for Koyla and that he was happy with Rick and I. He said his heart hurt. The good byes were full of hugs and kisses and off we went. I gave Koyla some space and he just stared out the window. After about 10 minutes I gave him the "thumbs up" and he smiled and moved next to me in the car. He is ready for this new step in his life. We arrived at the passport office at 4:35 and were ready to grab a bite to eat by 4:45. After our meal we went to the train station to get our tickets. We waited a little over 90 minutes for the train, but that gave Koyla time to climb and jump so when he got in the train, he was ready to sit. This is the first time he has ever traveled so the train was exciting. He spent most of his night watching out the window and I spent most of my night watching him. He is one little independant boy in a tiny little body.

We arrived in Kiev on Saturday at 6:00 a.m. and we were in our apartment by 6:30 a.m. We were down the hill and in Victory Square by 6:45 a.m. Koyla was too excited to rest. We ran around taking pictures until MacDonalds opened at 8:00 a.m. and ate the first of our 3 MacDonalds meals for Saturday. He has never been to MacDonalds but he has seen them on TV.
The rest of the day was low key and rest. On Sunday I got up early and outlined our day, in Russian and in English. When Koyla got up at 10:00 we followed the plan, it went well. We started with church in the apartment. We watched a DVD about Jesus on my laptop. We studied our English, money is the best part of our English study for Koyla, then we went for lunch, and he got a couple hours to play video games on the laptop. After game time we headed to the maket place and spent a couple hours at the outdoor market, our final stop a grocery store and then back to the apartment. After that, the structure was over, so we had a pillow fight, played tic tac toe, tarts, wrestled, and ate our evening meal (Koyla's meal continued for the rest of the night). I knew that Monday would be busy so I gave him a little more game time and we went to bed.

Today was the busy day, we got his physical, and went to the Embassy to get his Visa. From there we had to get tickets to fly home on Tuesday, June 23rd, exactly one month from the day we arrived in Kiev.

Thank you God for your grace. You have given me such peace during this time, a very sweet time in my life. Thank you all for the prayers and the contacts, what a great encouragement for the family to have people lifting us up. We do have one more possible obstical, Koyla's visa. It has to be ready by 9:00 a.m. Tuesday morning so that we can leave on our flight home at 1:00. Victor and our driver pick us up at 8:00 a.m. and that will be the start of one longggggg day. When we arrive in Virginia, Yana will be in Florida. This will be Koyla's week with mama and papa. When she comes home, we hope Koyla will be ready to be a brother to Yana and not lean too much on her.

What a Journey!
Fran

Good-bye Luda

I thought Monday was hard, saying our good-byes to all the children. We had to go back to the orphanage today and sign the release papers. It was really perfect none of the children were around. We had to wait for the director, she was busy. About 5 minutes into the wait, here comes Luda, she is the sweetest young girl. Since I had to spend my past weekend at the orphanage with Koyla, I got to spend lots of time with Luda. On Monday both Luda and I held back tears when we said good-bye, but today neither of us held back tears. As we were leaving Galina, the director said Luda, maybe Fran will find you a family in America. Luda said "No one will want me". I was thankful that Victor never translated that conversation to me until we were walking to down town Berdyansk. I would have really lost it.

As the day progressed I became a professional at saying "NET". Like most orphans that get adopted, the new idea of money to spend, overwhelms them. It is difficult not to spend money on them when they leave with nothing. You need a few toys so they are not bored, clothes so they smell and look good and we need to entertain ourselves while we wait, therefore like all children, Koyla wants everything we walk by. There are many more nets (no), then dahs(yes). and after every net there is a sad looking face like this child is deprived of everything. Many of the things that Koyla wants he will get when he is in America, but I am not going to carry it home. With the language barrier he thinks he will never own anything. I just rattle away in English that you will have one of those in America and he gives me those sad eyes, he has no clue to what I am saying. By the time Victor joined us, he had stopped asking. The big one today was a life jacket. He wanted me to buy him a life jacket. When we got home Rick had written me an e-mail saying he bought new fishing poles and is getting new canoe racks for the van, now all we need is life jackets and he and Koyla are set to go fishing when he gets home. That is Koyla's number one hobby. He told Victor today that fishing is more important then games!

Today we were to call to find out what day we get Koyla's passport, Saturday or next Tuesday. Another twist in plans, it is probably going to be Friday of this week? There is still a question mark at the end of that sentence though, we have to call Friday morning to find out for sure. Planning is just not something that comes easy when your in Ukraine. Flexibility is always the best policy, even when it cost you lots of money. My vote is still for Saturday. I like Berdyansk arrangements and there is plenty for us to do. Staying at the church apartment is luxury and inexpensive. If we get the passport we will go right to Kiev on the train Friday night instead of Saturday. It is a long trip and the price of the taxi is more then 2 nights in Kiev. I can't even imagine how many times I will have to say "Net" in Kiev. The less time we are there the less nets. Koyla does know the word no, net makes no more firm to me. I like to be firm when I say no.

Koyla's movie is over, so blogging is over too. It's time to play tarts, having a boy is going to be as much fun as having as having our sweet Yana. Thank you God for such a blessing.

Things Keep Getting Better!

Big day today, lots got done, even another trip to Grandpa's house. We were in the taxi at 7:00 a.m. on our way to Tokmak for the birth certificate. Once all the papers were filled out we had a 2 hour wait to get the certificate. That is when we went to Grandpa's house. We all enjoyed the visit to see Grandpa, even our driver seemed pretty relaxed in conversation with grandpa. Things are hard at grandpa's house ,but things seem in harmony there too. The homes in the outter part of Tokmak have city water, but it doesn't go to the house, it goes to a central location for a group of homes and the people have to walk to that location and get water. They have a holding tank on property that can be filled with water, it looks like a well. The central location for the water is right in front of Grandpa's house. That means everyday people have to come in front of his house to get water. It is great company for grandpa. Grandpa is a peaceful man. He has a cat and a dog and they are very peaceful too. Both of the animals just had babies. There are 2 little puppies and 2 little kittens. All of them seem to be about 3 or 4 weeks old. Today the puppies were nursing off the mother cat. She was easy going about it, she just laid back and let them nurse. The mother dog was fine with that arrangement. She came over and licked the mother cat as she nursed her puppies. We all thought that this was funny, Grandpa acting like everything was normal.

Once we got Koyla's birth certificate we drove to a little city Orehov. A pretty little place, less run down than most of Ukraine that I have seen. It was clean and bright. The people seemed more up beat and friendly. In Orehov we got Koyla's social security information changed. Then off to Zaphoryza to get the passport started. The passport officier took us in right away and within no time we were out of there going to the next couple steps it takes to get the passport. We were heading back to Berdyansk by 4:00 and by 7:00, exactly 12 hours from the time we left , we were all very happy to be home. On Wednesday at 3:00 we can call to find out when Koyla's our passport will be done, and we will have a good idea when we will return to the United States! We are hoping to hear that we can return on Saturday to get the passport and continue on to Kiev that night. We will be in Kiev for 3 nights and fly out on Wednesday. If we have to wait then we will return for the passport on Tuesday, since the office is closed on Mondays, and go to Kiev that night. We will probably fly out on Friday if that is the case.

My vote is that the passport be done by Saturday. I still love to get my vote in, but I am very aware that it is all God's timing. After being at Grandpa's house today and seeing how sweet harmony is I can be patient and live in God's harmony. There is no better place to be.

Orphanage Living is Over for Koyla

These are the kids and the caregiver that we said our good-byes to today. They each have had a years worth of impact on Koyla's life some in good ways and some in not such a good way. They all came down from their rooms to send Koyla off on his new journey. Next to the caregiver in the back row is Luda, a young girl that is as sweet as can be. She was busy in the activity room today covering the windows with newspapers and tape so that the windows can be painted. Luda is strong, physically and emotionally. Koyla asked Luda to be in his picture, he respects Luda, she is kind to him. The caregiver made Koyla's leaving exciting and special. She gathered all his belongings and fussed over him, and then she gathered the boys so they would have a picture together. This all happened to Koyla without warning, no time to prepare for this moment. Mom shows up at the door and says, come on Koyla, this is it, the day you leave. I didn't mean for it to happen this way. Victor and I arrived at the orphanage to meet with the director. After talking for about an hour in her office, she said "Take Koyla with you today". This is the same person that told me I could not have Koyla until all his papers were complete and that does not happen until Tuesday and this is Monday. Why the change? Circumstances have changed. The inspectors had told the director on Friday that the children were not to leave the grounds for the weekend. She tried to explain that it was not me, that something was going on. Today she told Victor the whole story. There was a couple from Russian that took a child from one of the orphanages. All orphanages were on alert and the inspectors were to check on the orphanages. They caught the couple in Berdyansk this weekend and they are in jail! Now they are in jail the alert is over. That is why Koyla had to wait until the paper work was complete. Now these people are in jail, the paperwork doesn't have to be so complete. It works for me!

Our 10 day wait after the court hearing is over, and it is time to get Koyla's birth certificate changed. We are going to try to get his passport on the same day and hopefully get us home faster. We will have a long day tomorrow, it will introduce Koyla to traveling.

While talking to the director today I asked questions about Koyla. All her answers were so positive, she thinks very highly of Koyla. My last question, I asked her was for her to tell me something that was not so positive about Koyla, we all have some, what is his. She quickly answered, he is not brave. I wasn't surprised at her answer, I have been watching Koyla at the orphanage all weekend. Koyla will not fight or get aggressive towards others, even when they wrong him. He doesn't like conflict, he avoids it. The director called it not being brave. That is not true about Koyla, he is very brave. He is full of adventure, emotionally he is strong, he is one little brave guy. Walking away from the orphanage today was another brave step. Koyla is a peace maker, not a fighter, I call that brave.

There are over 30,000 children in Ukraine that are eligible for international adoption, there are over 100,000 children living in orphanages in Ukraine. My heart hurts every time I walk out of these orphanages, but Berdyansk Orphanage is especially hard to leave. Some of the children are no longer just faces to me. Tonight I am full of joy to have Koyla laying on the coach watching a video and struggling with the pain of those we said good bye to. Those kids are right in the center of my heart, I know they are cause that is where the pain is. It is going to take a long time for prayer tonight, I better get started.

Saying Good-Bye

It has been a busy week. Papa is getting as much of Koyla as he can before he leave and Yana is saying her good byes to friends. Mama is preparing for Rick and Yana's departure. This is also the time that I prepare to leave this apartment we are living in and enter into phase two by moving into the church apartment on the other side of town. This has all gone by so fast, until Rick and Yana left, then time stopped.

Monday and Tuesday night Koyla spent the night at our apartment. Wednesday morning we prepared for the departure of Rick and Yana. Our plan was to get up early to finish Yana's studies and then take a taxi to Yana's grandma's house to say good-bye. The two women, grandma and great-grandma are such happy people. They encouraged Yana and were so positive. They shared such love with Yana and Koyla and for Rick and myself. They shared how grateful they were that we adopted Yana and blessed us with God's blessings. They made the departure easy and cheerful. What a honor God has given me to have met these two humble ladies that we are now waving good-bye to as we drive away from their humble dwelling that is hidden from the main road by a dirt path that a car can barely drive on.

Next stop is our journey to Tokmak. We are all taking the bus to Tokmak and then Yana and Rick will continue from there to catch the train in Zaporyzha. Granda has been calling Yana and making sure that we stop to visit before she leaves so he can say good-bye. The bus ride is hot and bumpy and the only air comes from the vent opened on the roof of the bus. The air blast you right in the face. It is not a comfort ride, but no one complains, this is life in Ukraine. We arrive in Tokmak and take a taxi to Grandpa's house. There he is waiting at the door for us along with a life long family friend. This is a woman that was close to grandma before she past away. Grandpa apologized for the condition of the house, he said when his wife died he gave up caring for the house and now it needs so much. Yana found a drawer full of pictures. She spent time going through them gathering ones that had meaning to her. All the pictures that we had set to Koyla of Yana decorated grandpa's living room. The pictures Yana took home with her we will scan and send back to grandpa. There are treasures in the pictures. I got to see Yana's mom in her prime. She was a beautiful lady. Grandpa told Yana that her mother was dead. Yana was disturbed by the news and wanted to know if it was really true. She thought maybe grandpa would say something like that so that she would put mom behind her and not wonder about her. I told her I would try to find out when I go for Koyla birth certificate.

The departure was hard for both Yana and grandpa. Grandpa is very emotional, the departure had lots of tears. He too showed Rick and myself such love and warmth. He holds such a special place in our hearts for who he is in these children's lives. Yana doesn't shed tears too often, this one brought out the tears. Koyla will see grandpa on our way to the train station next week, that will be really difficult for him.

We take the taxi to the bus station. What I invisioned as a sweet good-bye to Yana and Papa turned out to be anxiety and confusion because the buses in both directions were ready to take off. The taxi has to be paid, the tickets need to be bought, Papa and mama don't know what anyone is saying which always makes the confusion more intense. We hurry, kiss, rush, trip on to the buses and then we sit there for 10 minutes on this hot, smelly bus waiting to depart. Koyla body language says it all. He stares out the window, sunk in, just full of sorrow. He was perfectly happy living with grandpa in Tokmak even if there was no food and no water, and life was dirty, and hard. Grandpa was real sick when he gave up his legal rights to Koyla. He would have lost those right anyway if he hadn't turned them over when he did. Koyla's standard of living was pretty bad.

Koyla and I returned to Berdyansk and walked to the orphanage. Galina gave us permission to have him for 2 nights and then he had to go home. He hated going back, I hated taking him back. I could have used the company that night myself. We said our good-byes and I walked home. The apartment was too quite. I got a phone call from some friends asking me if I wanted to walk the boardwalk with them. I jumped at the chance to be with people. By the time I got home I was exhausted and emotionally spent.

Thursday I spent time with Koyla at the beach, we went out to eat, bought a new i-pod for the plane trip home, and went back to the orphanage. The plan that we last had with the director of the orphanage was Koyla could spend 2 nights with me and one at the orphanage, then 2 nights with me. I planned to take him on Friday night again. When I went to get him, again, the plans had changed. The orphanage was having a government inspection. All rules are being followed, with no execption. Legally Koyla is not allowed to spent time off campus with me until Monday, the end of the 10 day waiting period. Therefore, I have to visit him at the orphanage for the weekend and I can take him on Monday for the night. I was really looking forward to this weekend in the new apartment with Koyla. So much for my plan.

The adoption of both of our children have been a journey, not an event. God has made me so dependant on him in both adoptions that I know this is His plan and not my own. He has put people in my path that are treasures I would have never experienced if I did it my way. He has shown me that His will is far more important then my comfort and His glory will be revealed in His plan, not mine. I am sitting in my big apartment by myself still amazed at His grace, He is an awesome God.

Reviewing the Journey

It is so like our God to take us back to the beginnings of our journey and review how and why we started the journey in the first place. Yesterday was my day of review. Friday was our day in court, the completion of son, Koyla. On Saturday, our faclitator left for Kiev, so we had Koyla stay with us overnight. On Saturday we picked up Koyla for the long weekend, as well as Inna, Yana's friend and we walked to the beach. On our way to the beach Yana and Koyla are holding hands, what a sight to see. It is fun seeing the relationship between Inna and Koyla also, since Inna has been the go between Yana and Koyla. See too is very close to Koyla.

Rick, Yana, Koyla and Inna are in the water, and I am guarding all our possessions on the beach, when my eyes meet Marina! The day after our court date there is the person that started this whole thing. She is sweet, and very pretty. I can't show her picture though, there is not enough bathingsuit to cover her. She gave me a huge hug and kiss and asked if I were mad at her. Of course I am not mad at her. I got a chance to meet her boyfriend also. I think now we will see her often. She has returned to Berdyansk, the trade school transferred her to a school here in town. We also saw her Saturday evening. When I left her at the beach on Saturday she said, "Mama, I love you so much". She is all grown up. She looks much older then Yana, even though Yana is the older of the two.

There was no sadness in our meeting, just appreciation. As we walked home from the beach I thanked God for the work He has done and the work that is in front of us. For today though, Papa and Mama are going to take a rest. Yana, Inna, and Koyla are at the beach down by Grandma's house. It is nice having a big sister!

Time to prepare for the week ahead. Things are going to happen fast. Rick and Yana leave for Kiev on Wednesday so that Rick can sign the papers at the embassy before he returns to the states. I will move to the church apartment on Friday. We will all be home in no time!